These past few days haven't been the nicest to me. Waking up every morning feels like a battle. I fight to wake up to open my eyes in hope that things have either improved or remained the same. MY BIGGEST FEAR IS WAKING UP IN COMPLETE DARKNESS. Im not being pessimistic, i'm being very open and sharing a fear i have. Fears are never easy to share with people, esp complete strangers. But i am, its in complete relevance to my current situation. Glaucoma,saying it out loud puts a bitter taste in my mouth. You'd figure after days of knowing and taking about it with people would bring acceptance. AND it has actually. Accepting that i have it but not that its the end for me.

But i haven't been alone in my silent struggle attempts to gain my vision. I've had people root for me and people checking up on my status daily. You guys are the bestest to the nth power. I'll love your forever of that :)

A certain some one who shall remain annonymous is respects to that individual, wrote me an email. One that left me in complete and utter shock. I'm still shocked actually. After reading it (several times) it made me feel at peace with myself . It got me to re evaluate everything and remind me that things couldve been a lot worse. I could be completely blind and that a lot (ok not a lot but fair amount) of people have it worse. Of course he didnt say that it could be worse and yada yada...but his situation different but similar to mines. I dont have it as bad as him nor have endured an ounce of what hes gone through to keep his sight.

It blew my mind...

I appreciate everything, this coming from practically a complete stranger whom ive shared a few words with. Saying thank you isn't enough to show you how thankful iam.

On a lighter note...i started drawing/sketching again. Was shopping yesterday with one f my bests Marisha and we happen to come across a store called Super Citizen. I bought a few things, and was about to leave when my best lingered around and debated over a top she considered getting, when i noticed this set of sketching pencils. Something about my demeanor lit up and my inner something told me to get it. I GOT IT..and right when i got home i sketched. My past entry was just mentioning how i kind of gave up for a while because of the bridge i couldn't cross and what i couldn't convey and translate through my art. Things happen for a reason..me walking though that store wasn't coincidence,it was fate. Gave me a part of my life back that went missing for a bit.

Its still rough..but im getting there :)