I STILL SMILE

Ive been due for a new post for quiet sometime now. I honestly didn't know what to blog about. And right now? I still don't know what to blog about. But i guess I'll update and see where this leads me to.

Follow-up after follow-up. I'm pretty much a regular now,seeing that i visit every week and sometimes drop by in between to get meds. I'm so regular, that when i walk through the doors they just usher me in. Straight to it..just how i like it. Its no walk in the park people. I hate taking those tests, it hurts my eyes and makes me feel like someones jabbing the back of my eyeballs with a #2 pencil. The pressure tests i take regularly are numbing to me now,i barely move an inch. The technicians are always amazed (esp the ones i haven't met) when they find out im back for my follow-up for glaucoma. They always expect it to be older people that have this problem. And their half right, old people do ten to be candidates of glaucoma but, not all. I'm one of the many cases who get diagnosed with this. Products with cortisone ALL do.

But I'm not gonna drown you with my sorrows. IT COULD BE A LOT WORSE..and I'm not just saying that. It honestly could be...i could be blind right now.Completely. I still have my vision (parts of it..most of it) The light just takes a while to adjust to. But i manage i get through it. I use to worry all the time at first about my eyes,but I'm slowly adjusting.

People who see me (esp my best friends) and know about it cant even tell that i do have it. Its not obviously stated. But if i took off my eye make-up. You'd see it all. How tired my eyes look, the slight bruising under my eyes,the original rash that caused it all.Each morning i wake up and cover the evidence. I start my day and carry on with a smile...

A best friend of mine introduced me to this song. He said it reminded him of me..."SMILE" - Eyedea and Abilities. Just the chorus

I can only build if I tear the walls down
even if it breaks me I wont let it make me frown
I'm falling but no matter how hard I hit the ground
I'll still smile
I can only build if I tear the walls down
even if it breaks me I wont let it make me frown
I'm falling but no matter how hard I hit the ground
I'll still smile

my eyes always look watery now. people easily mistake it as me crying.my bottom lashes are growing into the corner of my eyes. it kind of tickles...hence the waterworks.I've had to cut them back a few times. IT SUCKS..but then i get over it :)

WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST MAAAAAANNNN

I felt like i was neglecting myself. Havent tamed my manes in a while. So i decided to strip my purple streaks and rock basics. I pretty much said "fuck everything proper.." and i went short and messy. Just the way i like it. You'd be amazed how much stares i would get with my purple hair and how i was labeled all gothic because of it. People like to put labels on everything. I'm not a jar in a cupboard people.

Watched one of most funniest ( i know funniest isn't a word..what are you the grammar police? BITE ME ("v-------v") movies that had me thinking about things i haven't thought about it a while..just because...well because i haven't been in a relationship in god knows how long. I honestly could care less. I don't need a man to occupy my time ,much less make me happy. I cant do it all by myself. Sounds so righteous don't it? Yah well it also makes me sound like a pissed off lesbian.Don't categorize me you fruit.

OFF TOPIC



But the movie is "GOING THE DISTANCE" starring real life boyfriend and girlfriend Justin Long and Drew Barrymore. I Wont say anything about IT..other then the fact that its pretty bomb.